Treasure Chest found: College rejoices
By: LEANNE LOU BIRMINGHAM
Issue date: 4/2/09 Section: The Chive
To some, Lake Forest College may seem in debt. However, this all changed on Monday morning.
A treasure chest containing $1,000,000 in pearls and other fine gems was found at the back of the underused faculty lounge.
"This was a great find and will help us not only pay for the half-existing Sports Center, but will also pay off the College's debt to the well-known Chicago mob," said Lake Forest College President Steve Schutt.
FacMan representative Dave Siebert found the chest, while looking in the lounge for another place to store chairs and unwanted potted plants.
"I was trying to find a stack of chairs that could hold a few more before collapsing when I came across something shiny in nearby suede couches," says Siebert. "Now everyone is clamoring for a piece of the pie. If it was up to me, I would enlist the finders keepers rule!"
No one is sure of the origin of the chest, however, it most likely resorted from the fact that Lake Forest was a popular tavern destination for the squatting dogs, the Southern Lake Michigan Pirate Gang of the late 17th century, commonly known for its pet seals and determination to hide things in places they could be found.
The discovery of the chest comes not long after the news was released that LFC is in financial straits.
"I am no longer afraid to walk to my car at night, and I don't worry as much about flipping the switch to turn on the lights in my office as much, only when it rains," said Schutt.
It is likely the money will go to the development of the new Sports Center, the construction of which was halted shortly after the discovery of a frozen wooly mammoth under the parking lot on South Campus. This significant archeological find prevented further digging in the area/
"I am super pumped about the new Sports Center!" said senior athlete Sammy Littlebits. "I needed somewhere to get my swell on, and, hopefully, impress some lady folk."
The Sports Center will be a long awaited addition on the campus, and the release from the steel grips of debt will be a relief to the students and administrators alike.
"I am just thankful that they found some money. I was starting to worry about the future of the College, and my financial aid," said sophomore Scur D. Katz.
A treasure chest containing $1,000,000 in pearls and other fine gems was found at the back of the underused faculty lounge.
"This was a great find and will help us not only pay for the half-existing Sports Center, but will also pay off the College's debt to the well-known Chicago mob," said Lake Forest College President Steve Schutt.
FacMan representative Dave Siebert found the chest, while looking in the lounge for another place to store chairs and unwanted potted plants.
"I was trying to find a stack of chairs that could hold a few more before collapsing when I came across something shiny in nearby suede couches," says Siebert. "Now everyone is clamoring for a piece of the pie. If it was up to me, I would enlist the finders keepers rule!"
No one is sure of the origin of the chest, however, it most likely resorted from the fact that Lake Forest was a popular tavern destination for the squatting dogs, the Southern Lake Michigan Pirate Gang of the late 17th century, commonly known for its pet seals and determination to hide things in places they could be found.
The discovery of the chest comes not long after the news was released that LFC is in financial straits.
"I am no longer afraid to walk to my car at night, and I don't worry as much about flipping the switch to turn on the lights in my office as much, only when it rains," said Schutt.
It is likely the money will go to the development of the new Sports Center, the construction of which was halted shortly after the discovery of a frozen wooly mammoth under the parking lot on South Campus. This significant archeological find prevented further digging in the area/
"I am super pumped about the new Sports Center!" said senior athlete Sammy Littlebits. "I needed somewhere to get my swell on, and, hopefully, impress some lady folk."
The Sports Center will be a long awaited addition on the campus, and the release from the steel grips of debt will be a relief to the students and administrators alike.
"I am just thankful that they found some money. I was starting to worry about the future of the College, and my financial aid," said sophomore Scur D. Katz.
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