Mailroom offers new service... mail
By: Kumquat Starburst
Issue date: 4/2/09 Section: The Chive
Many students at LFC have experienced surprise, confusion, and, in one case, loss of consciousness as a result of the new mailroom trend of delivering mail in a timely manner.
Unlike past years at the College, students have been receiving mail within one to two days of its mailing, thanks to new incentives put into place by Mailroom Supervisor Donald Stanley. Mailroom employees now receive extra compensation for each hour they are putting mail into the correct mailbox instead of sitting around the back room reading other peers' magazines.
While Stanley said the exact value and form of extra compensation is confidential, he did share that it has had a remarkable effect: "They're going above and beyond by being on their feet so much during their shifts…they're great kids."
But the new mailroom system has not had only positive effects. Some students, in response to the rapidity of their mail reception, have had negative physical problems. "When I received a birthday letter a week before my birthday, after years of being programmed to expect mail months after the appropriate date, I thought I was some part of an unwilling time warp experiment," said sophomore Anita Knapp, who proceeded to faint upon being overcome with emotion and fear.
Senior Redd E. Setgow voiced the shared sentiments of the student body on the new system: "It's almost like we live in the real world, with real mail and everything!"
Unlike past years at the College, students have been receiving mail within one to two days of its mailing, thanks to new incentives put into place by Mailroom Supervisor Donald Stanley. Mailroom employees now receive extra compensation for each hour they are putting mail into the correct mailbox instead of sitting around the back room reading other peers' magazines.
While Stanley said the exact value and form of extra compensation is confidential, he did share that it has had a remarkable effect: "They're going above and beyond by being on their feet so much during their shifts…they're great kids."
But the new mailroom system has not had only positive effects. Some students, in response to the rapidity of their mail reception, have had negative physical problems. "When I received a birthday letter a week before my birthday, after years of being programmed to expect mail months after the appropriate date, I thought I was some part of an unwilling time warp experiment," said sophomore Anita Knapp, who proceeded to faint upon being overcome with emotion and fear.
Senior Redd E. Setgow voiced the shared sentiments of the student body on the new system: "It's almost like we live in the real world, with real mail and everything!"
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